I've been in three short films in my brief, embarrassing, film career. The first was called Rats. I played a kid who came into the room to see his friends being eaten by rodents. I walked in, screamed and the film ended. There was a second film where I graduated to serial killer by tossing rats on my friends for money but, alas, this has been lost to the scattering winds of time and lives now, only in my memory. The third and final adventure in movieland was my crowning cinematic achievement. I was buried up to my head in the sand on an ocean beach and then hidden under a blue, crushed velvet sombero. The leading lady fades in from nothing on walking approach and lifts the hat to discover me. Pink Floyd was the soundtrack I think, She looked at me, waiting to be tempted; I tempted her with wine and psychokinetically drank a glass with her. I think there were other imbibemnets involved by hey, it was a long time ago and I have no recollection of those events.
Anyhow, we tarry there on the beach, being heads in the sand and in the end she walks and fades away; I think I faded out into a pile of sand.
Bogart, eat your heart out.
